Gooooood news !

Hello everyone, hope you all are doing well. 

*Made a cup of Milo and sitting in front of the laptop sipping it.*

What a GREAAAT start for Saturday !!!

 Especially when you need to work :( 

Urghhhhh ...

I used to type my blog in chinese

 but today I am typing this in English so that more people can read it.

Here's a good news !!!!!!!!!

 Jiang Jiang Jiang JIANGGGGGGG !!!

I GOT A JOB OFFER FROM GRANT THORNTON IN IRELAND !!!

I did not announce to a lot of people about this,  

because it feels like not stable for me.

(there's a chinese tradition about pregnancy that not more than three months are not allowed to share if not will experience tragic miscarriage)

SAME !!! I AM SO AFRAID THAT THE COMPANY RETRACT THE OFFER !!!!

I never wanted to share this out until somebody come and ask me or when I back to Malaysia in January! 

I felt so guilty when one of my friend , she asked me about this, 

and she said that good news should have spreaded among friends. 

That bad feeling ever.

The graduate program actually start in next year NOVEMBER !! 

uhh what a long way to go.

I even planned to take a photo of myself on my first day of work and post it on Facebook,

 when everything is settled down!

Plans have been changing changing everyday since I finished my final exam in May 2016.

I never know when and where is my next step, next plan, where will I be tomorrow.

I decided not to continue my master in 2016 (right after my degree), just to apply for the Big firms' graduate programme in every year October. GO BIG or GO HOME !

I applied the big 10 accounting firm, 

well not all, but most of it, 

then got a congratulation letter for interview from Grant Thornton, 

THE ONE AND ONLY ONE.

GT You are #truelove

 Got rejected from all the other ( I really wanted to know what criteria they want to filter from our application) 

Since then, all my friends who knew this telling me,

you are already getting it halfway..

The insecureness and stress starting to overwhelming me,

 I went to the open evening, 

reply the email after searching 100++ templates on google,

finding the best formal dress for the interview, 

keep on practicing my 'speech' for interview.

How much I wanted to post on facebook to tell everyone I got an interview chance from GT.

But in the same time, 

I am so so so so afraid that I might screwed it up so whats the point telling right ??

***spraying perfume in the room the boost my writing spirit*** 

HAHAHAHA

To be honest, even after I got the call from GT next day after my interview saying that they will offer me a position, I was still insecure. 

Then I had the urge to tell everyone (I still called my mom)

 but wait until i have the offer letter real on my hand first.

I am then starting to worry will the offer letter lost on its way to my house, 

will they forget to send me an offer letter, 

will the postman not find my house with the address,

will they call to the wrong person who have the same name as mine ? 

*facepalm*

Such paranoid person I am.

 Cant stop myself from all these imaginationssss.

Then I got my offer letter next day early in the morning, I was so excited to open it immediately and read through it.

 They wanted me to sign it and send it back. 

Guess what !

 yaaa..worrying starting again. 

Will the offer letter lost on its way,

 will the offer letter being ignored by the department,

 will it arrive before the due date ??? 

EVERYTHING ANYTHING could bother me :( 

Ohhh ya, I sent back the letter 2weeks after, 

why ??? why not immediately ??

because such paranoid person worrying for her visa and worrying for starting date, worrying this and that again !!!!

I am really thankful and appreciate there's two of my friends who unconditionally giving me advices on everything. 

(about the visa I will get after next year, about the professional paper im going to take, about the accommodation in Dublin, about the starting date of working, about everything im worrying, alot more~~~) 

Yaars was really really really wanted to beat me up every time I start paranoid about my contract and things. And Melody called me to explain everything in detail >< I cried alittle after talking, that was so unexpected. 

WHY ARE YOU WORRYING SO MUCH ?

I dont know, I dont know, I really dont know.

Imagine that you the guy you liked for few years and you have been chasing after him for few years, telling you that he likes you too and gonna give a try ?!!!!!!

I know this sounds really dramatic but, EXACTLY, that's the feeling tho. 

Although my friends kept telling me, you've already got the offer letter, no one gonna grab it away from you. DONT worryyyyy! but still..LOL

I have to admit that I am not the best academic student,

thats why I worked extra extra hard than other.

Wasting this whole year not continue master just to apply for the big firm

(well, because they will pay for my professional paper in the future.)

is a very risky decision I would say.

I had a run with my best buddy 

(we used to run around the town or the runtrack and chit chat abit)

he is like a mentor to me, we are to each other.

this year, there were bunch of new juniors are 'fighting' for the contract too.

some even said, they are defo getting it.

LOLOLOL. tell you what, they got rejected !!!

He knows me well,

I am not very good in English, compare to those banana.

I speak broken English, i write campur english too.

But I am trying hard, very hard.

He asked me, 

do you think you can win them ? how are you gonna 'fight' with them ?

Honestly, I dont really stand a chance.

Those unspoken words, I know deeply in my heart.

Clearly.

It actually upset me.

I remained silent. 

A lot of people, well, All of you,

including my boyfriend.

People never see how hard you work.

because when I work, I work alone.

No one sees it.

when they see me, 

I am either in the club or in the mall.

thats what I post in my SC.

and thats what people think about me...

I was really stressed,

I cant sleep in the night, nightmares,

mind always filled with a list of to-do things.

I have alot to concern...

I need to ace this interview this application.

Stress from my father, stress from myself.

Proving everyone that I can do it.

I know how people talk behind me, 

a playful girl, always go for drink (i didnt ok *roll my eyes*)

rich girl never concern about money (wtf!!!! I earn and spend my own money ok)
never study for exams. (srsly ?! I am typical kiasu kiasi kid ok ) 

But for now, I really dont care how shit people think I am.

I think I grew up. hahaha <<<< sounds stupid.hahhaa

For alot of you, that application is a piece of cake,
but for me,
thats Mount Everest...
You can never put yourself in other's shoes.
Because !
the size is different. -.-
I don't expect people to understand my stress and my life,
at least I know what I am doing.
My interview with Grant Thornton was awesome.
I like the interviewer very much, both.
I asked him about how he (they) think about my performance,
and told him that I care about how people think about me very much,
and I will try to please every of them.
Then he told me that,
You can't please everyone, all you have to do is be the best of yourself.
leave it to other,
which I think is #quoteoftheyear.
I still have alot alot to say but I will just leave it for today.
A wrap up
hmmmm...
I AM COMING BACK MALAYSIA !!!!
HAHAHAHAHA
BYE !!!

PS: Abit messy topic...jumping topics here and there.


With lovessssss xxxx
Hazel